Meme

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Catching up: On love, jealousy and thankfulness.... [a.k.a, Michael]

• Do you believe in love at first sight?
• What makes you jealous and how do you deal with it?
• What are you thankful for?

I saw them dancing, close, their eyes closed as they swayed together, their hands exploring each other while bowing to propriety.   She leaned, her lips near his ear, whispering something that made his fingers tighten on her, wrinkling the black silk of the dress she wore.  I circled the room, watching as his lips danced over hers, the way he faltered in the steps when he opened his eyes, lost his focus on her.  And watching them, my breath caught at their beauty.  Hers never ceases to surprise me, to amaze me.  His was unexpected.  I'd classed him a plaything for her to dabble with, not worth my time or attention or jealousy.  An amusement.  But their hands brushed, and I saw heat fly between them, understanding, deep and dark, and all I knew was rage.  Icy in its purity, narrow in its clarity of focus.  They parted and I prowled after him, watching as he flirted, as he danced.  She went to Him, as I knew she would.  It was no concern.  The Lady's presence...I knew she wouldn't approve.  I followed the boy anyway.

He was dancing with a young man and I moved toward them, cutting in.  I could smell her on him, taste her when my lips brushed his skin.  He was tight against me, afraid, angry, and slowly aroused as we danced.  Her scent, all over him.  My fingers found their way to his throat, an implicit threat that became more explicit as he kept talking, taunting.  It was only when the talking stopped that I realized how tight I had him.  I healed the damage I had done, his bravery, or foolishness, touching something deep inside. He has power.  He could have knocked me to my senses, if not stopped me.   But he didn't.  He just...stood.  I kissed him.  I couldn't help myself.  He was so brave and sweet and he tasted of her and of himself.  The Lady stopped me from taking him then, cautioned me to leave him alone, stay away.  I agreed.

Then he came to me...

It wasn't first sight.  Not quite.  At first sight, my impulse was to kill him, for daring to touch her, to let her touch him.  Overcome with jealousy, I couldn't see how special he was.  At first taste, I felt it, that stirring inside that cried out for me to pay attention.  But I stayed away.  When he came...there he was.  To protect her, to save her, to ask for my help.  Promising to help me keep her safe.  His bravery, knowing the danger and still standing, willing to fight what he didn't understand for her.  It made me love him a little just from that.  He stayed the night in my arms, and the next day, I found myself...caring.  Then more.  And more.  Until I whispered to him softly "Mine" and he said yes. 

Mine.

And hers.  And she is ours.  I may envy him his easy access to her, as she's still so wary of me, but they...Danu they are so lovely together.  I can't be jealous when I love them both so much.  Not of her.  Not of him.

Of the others, though...the others who take him, who play, who think they can touch and take what's mine....the same impulses that ran through me the night we met fly all apace and I want to tear them to shreds for thinking they can have him.  Every touch, every kiss that isn't mine or hers I envy.  I am jealous of his kisses, of his touches, of the way he moves inside and the way he smiles and the intensity in his face when he's focused on his lovers.  The thought of someone else enjoying that, taking that...and my fingers itch to find their throats, as surely as once they found his.  But I won't.  Because I won't hold him captive to my whims.  He is free and these are his choices, his life to make.  So I find other things to distract me.  *wry* Other people.  And I wait for those times when I can be with him.  See him.  And hope for the day when the three of us can be together as we should be.

For the hope of that day.  For her bringing him to us.  For him bringing her to me.  For the joy they give me.  For their beauty and generosity and love.   For a chance to build something new for all of us, a new story, a new chapter.  For all these things, I am thankful and always will be.

(no subject)

*wry*

Apparently my mother has deigned to join us...

Hopefully she'll not take my wife's part in this war.